Reality

Reality is hard.

There is no easy way around it. They say getting through the hurdle makes you stronger. What if you're stuck in the middle of one and can't get out, What do you do then? How long can you keep telling yourself that you will be stronger at the end?


Times are so hard for me presently. It certainly feels like I am going through it alone, because the end-result is only going to affect Chibuchi.

Never can I recollect feeling so helpless.

HE apparently helps at his own convienience from a distance but it's all talk.
The stranger I have been slowly dissecting out of my life has been more helpful than him.

HE expects me to 'get over it' soon.

Get over it?

I'm almost glad that this is happening now.

Just when the wounds were supposed to be healing, the scars had not even formed yet, but now they are bleeding once again.


I don't know which is worse, the insomnia, the inability to eat, the propensity to burst into tears at any minute due to frustration.

Like something is eating away at me, just gnawing away relentlessly and I can't even place this phantom carnivore's presence anywhere within me.
If I could, then I would find it and stop it.

I can't take it anymore, giving in seems so much easier now.

No It's not OK.

It probably won't ever be.

U know it.
I know it.

So how long are we going to carry on with this facade?

Change.

It appears as if a major change is about to occur right now

Unsure of how to take it.. I don't think I am prepared..but yet I can't help but realise that the anxiety I feel right now also fills me with excitement.

I suppose it's because I had noticed that my ways had fallen into the ever-repetitive routine..surely that has got to happen at some point in our lives though..right?

It's sink or float time.

Other options are just possibilities right now..I'm scared to dig deeper into these possibilities for fear of just diving right into them after discovering something I like.

What will it be?

Buchi be patient..